Shedding my Skin
“I feel like i have no skin” I text my mom from my desk at work a few weeks after my 4+ year relationship ended.
“What? No skin?!” she replied.
She didn’t understand what I was trying to say.
Raw, exposed, utterly vulnerable, as if every nerve was on fire.
I drove the 6 hours home that weekend for my cousins nursing school graduation party.
I felt as if i would fall over & die if anyone asked me a personal question, no matter how well-intentioned.
Have you ever felt that too?
Seeing me, my uncle asked, “Where’s the rest of you?”
“What do you mean” I asked?
I knew what he meant.
In the last few weeks following my breakup, I’d lost about 10 pounds, which was saying something for someone who was built like a string bean to begin with.
After we broke up, I lost my appetite. I wasn’t eating.
Upon hearing that I was also moving & leaving my job on top of the breakup, my aunt said to me, “Girl, you’re shedding your skin”.
Exactly. No skin. She got it.
Have you ever felt like you shed your skin?
Letting go of those old identities does feel like a kind of death.
When you go through changes in your life, even when it’s a change that you chose & that feels like the “right choice” – you still go through a grieving process.
Do you know what I mean?
What you had energy for before or what worked for you before probably isn’t going to work in the same way anymore.
Beating yourself up for not keeping up with what you did before is the last thing you need right now.
That’s where calling in support & adapting your rituals to support where you are now comes in.
If you’re shedding your skin now, I am honoring you! You are brave. I see your courage.
If you want to talk about how tools that will support you in your process, that’s what I’m here for.